Artie Lange - Too Fat To Fish

Unlike the other belligerent drunk comedian that I've spoken of recently, I can't say enough good things about Artie Lange. His Stern cred is top-shelf, he can call Norm Macdonald one of his best friends and he seems pretty humble for a guy who has been known to wallow in cocaine and booze for fun. I again enjoyed this via the audio book (why? because you can't snag books off the web) and while I will say that it is still far too long for a guy who reads as fast as I do, Too Fat To Fish is totally great. Artie reads the first couple chapters wherein he talks about his family and early life and it's one of the most engaging things you'll ever hear. It's totally inspiring and heartbreaking, especially in Lange's Jersey accent. You may recall that Artie has some addiction issues, and by chapter three he goes to rehab (literally) and has buddies like Ba-ba-booey and Jim Florentine read the rest. Too Fat To Fish is pretty great regardless of who is on the mike, so believe the hype. Avoid the nightmare that is that ridiculous Palin book and check out a guy who cares more about his family and the troops overseas that 90% of the people who can't shut up about it.
R

David Cross - I Drink For A Reason

David Cross is a slippery slope for me. I think that his comedy albums are absolutely brilliant, but all that good work is somewhat diluted by every interaction anyone I've ever known him to have with the service world/common people resulting in reports of him being a total douchebag. I would have never thought that anyone who was that much of a Superchunk fan would be that much of a shitbag, but I've obviously been wrong before.

Cross was on one of the late night shows recently talking about his recent month long stand of sold out London shows and did a set at Bumbershoot that is making the interweb rounds, so I mistakenly snapped this up thinking it was a new stand-up set. I Drink For A Reason is actually an audio book with Cross narrating. I would say, in theory, that this a good idea, but while the bits are decent, and it is certainly much more engaging in DC's own voice, he seems to have a DQ (douche quotient) that is off the charts. It's also very, very long, which may be either onerous or equitable depending on how you slice it. I would say that the former is the closest to the truth, but I guess you should probably decide for yourself.
Personally, I'd look for the live show.

R

Live: Whiskey Trench at Bar Nine 12.6.9

So, would someone please explain to me me the logic in having a band come from Montreal to play that has a fairly limited draw, posting a time that they are going on, then having them go before the announced time, not because the place was packed and people were clamoring, but to two people and the bartender? I showed up at 10, again the posted start time, to see Whiskey Trench play five songs, one of which was a Jawbreaker cover. They sounded decent, but it was a severe bummer.

R

LIve: The Figgs @ Cake Shop 12.4.9

So, night two of the three night Figgs Fest for the holidays, this one in the hood over at Cake Shop. Sadly the photo at right is not from the show, but is still exceedingly classic and more than apropos given the lack of offering from the Figg franchise as to commemorative photos. Drew and I pre-gamed at JS-NYC HQ before dashing over Cake Shop way for a little time with the aforepictured Casino Officer Big Balls before the set.

As holiday sets go, there were very few surprises, which is not to say that the set was in any way bad, save for The Sights having had to endure a second night of keeping up with them. I suppose it's a character building experience at the very least. Again, I would have liked to have heard some of the stuff of Couldn't Get High, but there were dips as far back as Lo-Fi At Society High, so it wasn't all for nought. We were again treated to the new Casino Hayes single, as well as a guest appearance from Jeb Bishop and a David Cross sighting, so there was a lot of equity to your holiday dollar this year. It seemed like a sparse crowd, but we were up front and Drew claims there were a lot of people out, so what do I know? I missed Night Three in the rugged lands of Shaolin, but if I were you, I'd get on over to Figgs HQ and see when you can see the gents next. If history is any indication, the next shows will be at yet another Green Bay casino, but you owe it to yourself to see America's Finest Rock Band live before you shuffle off this mortal coil.

R

Live: The Figgs @ Breur Falls 12.3.9

Ok, this is only a week past being relevant, but hey I've got a lot on my plate. Last week, about this time I jumped on the bike and jumped over the bridge to see America's Finest Rock Band, The Figgs, play one of their increasingly rare live shows at Bruar Falls. I missed out on their Halloween extravaganza owing to lack of desire to be pelted with eggs/be divested of my worldly possessions, but had very little excuse this time around.

I crossed threshold and ran into the questionably moustachioed Mr. Pete Hayes, sadly sans his long-suffering wife and new daughter. In luckier eventualities, The Figgs were just about to go on. They proceeded to play one hell of a set, pretty much lacking in deep cuts, but still better than most bands that don't suggest one might Hold one's Steadiness. These shows were with Detroit's The Sights and featured the bands swapping opening slots. This night had Los Figgs on second, which is to say opening. The crowd was sparse, but mostly to see our heroes. Had they not arrived thusly, they left as such as The Figgs wiped the floor up with all in attendance. There was a brief glimmer of respite for the headliners when Gent moved to acoustic towards the end of the set, but all hope was lost for any followers when the soloing continued apace until the set's end. Not the nicest move, but one that more than asserted who the big boys were. We were treated to a couple new songs, including the A-side of the new Casino Hayes 7" and the requisite holiday covers. And there was much rejoicing by all who did not have to follow them. Keep track on the rest of The Figgs holiday dates (and the myriad side projects each member maintains) here. Were you to want to get the new 7" as the best holiday stocking stuffer ever, you can get it here from the kindly proprietors of Peter Wallkee Records here. Save all the toys for the little rich boys.

R

Minus The Bear - Into The Mirror

If you'll forgive the hackneyed metaphor, Minus The Bear is a strange animal. I got exposed to them through the **ahem** adult site that one of the band members used to run with his wife. Their internet glory was quickly overshadowed by Suicide Girls, but probably a decade past that, Minus The Bear have been much more successful in purveying their mix of electronica and indie slash punk music. The recordings may have become crisper through higher bit rates, but the music is essentially unchanged. The departure of Matt Bayles was hardly the death knell haters made it out to be. As per usual, Minus The Bear generally make me think of being in the Los Angeles of Blade Runner on a whole lot of coke, but that's just me. Not that I touch that silliness, but looking at the crowd they attract and the Lifter Puller level of sordid-tude their songs display, it seems that I might not the only one that feels that way.

Into The Mirror is a two song virtual 7" that varies very little from the time honored MTB formula of deftly finger-tapped riffs cybermelded against rhythms of the organic variety as well as breakbeats and loops. The title track is the mellower of the two, while the b-side pushes the more frantic side of things. If you liked Minus The Bear before, you'll be stoked about this, but I doubt it's going to win over anyone who didn't like them previously. I'd say those people are kinda dumb, but that's not our problem is it? Pick up Into The Mirror from your favorite digital retailer or from the band via their Tigre Blanco records. I don't see any web presence for the label, but you kids are a resourceful lot. In a pinch, it appears you can also contact Team MTB here.

R

Bend Over And Take Your Royalties...

On the heels of this screed from the men of Rehasher and as I have been taking it in the pocketbook like most of America this year, I thought I might cross-post this little delight I found on the Portastatic blog about major labels and digital royalties from Tim Quirk of Too Much Joy. More and more, it seems like going for self is the way of the walk.

That said, while I am sympathetic to the men of Rehasher's plight and will admit they have been known to be good sometimes, the idea that 3000 people would buy their record, especially in the first month, smacks of hubris and reminds me how good the weed is in Florida. I'd bet that maybe 5% of the No Idea (who released the first Rehasher and are distro-ing the new one) roster even press 3000 initially. Now, it appears the new Rehasher is self-released on their own Moathouse Records. I applaud that, but I'd be very surprised if they pressed up 3000 cds in the first pressing. Bully to them if they can sell 3K right out the gate, but it doesn't seem likely from where I'm sitting. Looking at the Moathouse and Rehasherweb presences, there are some interesting eventualities. First off, I would be interested as to why they are selling it for $3 more than No Idea (plus $2 postage). With very, very few exceptions, asking $12 bucks ($10 and postage) for a record that is maybe a half-hour would (and will) make me download it, at least initially. Oddly enough, that $12 seems to get you vinyl with a die-cut cover from No Idea (shipped), a price that seems more than reasonable for collector nerds. If I was buying a CD from you on tour for $10, it would be a whole different ball game, but someone needs to take a step back and look at the big picture asking $12 for mailorder, especially when you're a punk band who is recording a record for your own label. While digital downloading is hurting some bands, it also exposes the average band to exponentially larger numbers of people. Most bands would be stoked that 3000 people would even care about hearing their record. And also take into account that 3000 is most definitely 3000 people around the world, a scope that many people, including me and my stupid band, would be wholly in favor of operating in.

If any Rehasher dudes rebut, I'll post it unedited. I'll also probably download and review it. For free. Listening to the I-tunes clips, it sounds pretty decent. Not better than Susquehanna Hat Company, but decent.

R

Read the comments on the PunkNews article, too. While they do speak volumes about how charmingly out of touch the young "punks" are today, there is an especially hysterical anecdote from a guy who supposedly dropped 50K on his record and gave/is giving it away. While that is just plain silly and I wish that my Dad was rich, too, the really funny part is where he claims he got over half of it back from donations. In two months! The internet sure is a great place for lying. Well, gotta go, just got a $1 million check from Google Ads, gotta get that in the bank....

R